she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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