I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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