I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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