I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
