you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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