Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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