I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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