I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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