I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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