O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
