My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
