i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize