Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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