I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
