Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
