They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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