bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
