i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
