i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize