I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
