her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
