So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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