my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
