is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
