Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
