what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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