Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
