He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
