I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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