Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
