he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
