If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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