Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
