called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
