If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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