I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
