On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
