just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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