You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
