i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
