can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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