Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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