well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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