Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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