Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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