I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
