Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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