well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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