Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
