dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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