it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize