it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
