Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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