I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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