If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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