hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
