Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
