actually, I'm a sock model
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
