oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
