well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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