i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
