Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
